Sunday, February 28, 2010

Whistle While You Work

Boy, I have no idea what has gotten in to me, but this last week I have done nothing but clean it seems like.  Today was more so than the other days.  For the most part I was just doing a load of laundry and a load of dishes over the last few days.  Oh no, not today...

Today I:
     *turned cartoons on for the kids and watched a few with them
     *heated frozen waffles in the toaster and gave them to the kids
     *did a load of dishes
     *started a load of Aerick's bedding
     *put the load of Aerick's bedding in the dryer
     *started a load of towels
     *scrubbed the kids' bathroom, someone had pee'd on the floor YUCK
     *soaked the kids' bath toys in the tub with bleach water
     *rinsed toys and set aside so I could use the "tub water" for the floor
     *cleaned the mirrors and scrubbed the tub/shower enclosure
     *did another load of dishes
     *made spaghetti for lunch
     *put the load of towels in the dryer
     *made green tea for Aerick
     *made sweet tea for me by putting it in the sun
     *gave my kids the option of a snack
     *cleaned the kitchen counter
     *ate a piece of the coffee cake I made yesterday, YUM
     *played outside with the kids for a bit after Daddy got home
     *talked to my sister in law on the phone
     *put Aerick & Siera in the tub, they were dirty!
     *got Siera out of the tub, dressed and into her bed with some frosted mini wheats
     *got Aerick washed and out of the tub and dressed
     *showered and dressed myself
     *started my car so that it had time to warm up (no speedometer if I don't)
     *loaded James up in the car
     *took him to 7-11 for a slurpee (yum!)
     *met his dad to drop him
     *came home, finished my slurpee, played with Aerick
     *asked the hubs to make dinner, what we wanted we couldn't have so he made tuna for him & kids
     *kids didn't eat with Daddy so I gave them each a hot dog
     *finally got Aerick into bed about 8:30
     *it's 10 p.m. and Siera is still in her bed.  At one point she was on the couch "reading" outloud.
     *I'm hungry and I think I want a toasted pb&j bagel...
     *I'm trying to make a list of things we need for the house and groceries.

Dun, dun, dun, wasn't that a fun read today?  I'm exhausted and have a pre migraine, so I did it in list format.  Of course, that list is not in exact order and I'm positive I missed things, like cleaning the front room window while Ken spoke with his sister on the phone and I watched the little ones playing outside.  Or how I missed telling you how precious it is to see Aerick (the "baby") interacting with his big brother and sister.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

UGH

Today was an interesting day.  I awoke suddenly at 8 a.m. and realized that my husband had left for work.  I never felt him kiss me, barely woke to hear him talking to Siera and never even heard his truck start.  Think I was tired?  Apparently!

The reason I awoke so suddenly was because if someone isn't monitoring Siera at all times she will get into everything there is possible to get into.  My day planner is missing, wonder if she has it?  She says she doesn't, but I'm not sure she knows what it looks like.  Unfortunately self control is NOT one of her strong virtues, so in the meantime we just keep an eagle eye on her.

As I woke I heard my alarm going off that I'd forgotten to shut off last night, so I ran to my room.  And of course I glanced into the boys' room.  The site I saw was just beautiful.  For one, I forgot James was home, so that was wonderful in and of itself.  But the most beautiful thing I saw was Aerick standing at the edge of his crib and James reaching in trying to hug him or tickle him, I'm not sure which.  However, the smiles I saw on my boys' faces is what made my day.  James is such a good big brother and he really loves his siblings.

I got Aerick out of his crib and we all came out into the living room.  For once in Siera's 3 1/2 short years she wasn't demanding food as soon as she woke (makes me think Daddy fed her some before he left) so we chilled in front of the tv for about an hour.  Aerick and James sat on the loveseat with me while I tried not to fall back to sleep and Siera sat in the middle of the living room floor.  My goodness, things like that make my heart smile so big.  My kids are such blessings and I tend to forget that in the day to day stuff.

After a bit I got the kids up to the table and gave them each some Trix.  Aerick, of course, didn't want to eat!  Instead I gave him a fresh sippy and made him at least sit at the table with the big kids.  Sometimes when I do that he eats, not today!  As they ate I started a load of laundry, emptied the dishwasher and dish strainer and re loaded the dishwasher.  The kids were done eating so I cleaned up their breakfast dishes and started on the counter.  I am determined to find my day planner, Flat Stanley is hiding in it and I must send him home next week!

Then I had to get everyone dressed and out the door.  Ken needed me to deposit some money into the account.  Since I was in town I ran into WalMart to grab a few things.  Namely, invitations for James's birthday party.  Poor kid wants Kung Fu Panda and nowhere in Southern Oregon can we find it.  Therefore I took him into WalMart to choose something else.  Lo and behold he sees...  Spongebob...  Gag me now.  I hate Spongebob and only allow my children to watch it because we no longer have Noggin and after a certain time in the day there are no longer cartoons and we can only watch so many recorded cartoons!!!!!

Happy, happy, joy, joy, I get to plan a Spongebob Squarepants birthday party.  Lucky for me I do not always go along the "theme" of the party.  So, we're doing a baseball game, possibly a fruit roll up game - if I can find decently priced organic fruit roll ups, I refuse to have a bunch of food dye vamped kids running through my home and I'm not sure what else.  I'll figure it out.

I did a quick run through of Taco Bell for cheese rollups for the kids and a burrito for me.  Then off to home where I put the littles down for naps.  Siera went right to sleep, but Aerick took nearly an hour to fall asleep.  James, of course, didn't nap, but "rested" instead.  Thankfully Siera took a 2 1/2 hour nap and Aerick napped until I woke him at 5:30.

At WalMart I had bought some Totino's frozen pizzas.  They were intended for lunch, but since we did Taco Bell I made them for dinner.  Yay me!  Applesauce was included for the kids and they gobbled their dinners down like expected.  After dinner they ran around like monkeys and I made a coffee cake.  It's been nearly 10 years since I've had coffee cake, let alone made one.  YUM.  I so look forward to eating some of that later.  http://allrecipes.com/Recipe/Streusel-Coffee-Cake-2/Detail.aspx

I did warn the children that for lunch tomorrow we are having spaghetti with leftover spaghetti sauce that I used for lasagna last week.  Need to expand our grocery money, therefore we're eating more leftovers. :)

Put Siera & Aerick to bed about 8:30.  It's now 10:12 p.m. and Siera is in my arms and Aerick has been fussing in his crib.  I didn't get a chance to check on him before Siera curled up in my lap.  Hopefully she goes to sleep quickly so I can take care of Aerick and get James to bed.  James is still up, yes.  *sigh*

Oh, also today, I had to call Valley Immediate Care.  When James came to me yesterday his father told me he had a bacterial lung infection and he was on amoxicillin and a steroid.  Um, no.  They didn't do bloodwork, I am SO not cool with giving my child this shit, so I called.  James had the start of an ear infection, tonsilitis and pharyngitis.  I'm still not pleased with the steroid, but it is what is and it's not harming him.

I've got Siera off to bed and checked on Aerick.  He's sound asleep.  I'm going to let James finish watching Disney's Prep & Landing and then off with his head!  Errrrrrrr...  I mean, off to bed!!!

Friday, February 26, 2010

Urology

Aerick's urology appointment was yesterday.  It went really well.  Dr. Bui came in, explained how he'd be moving the testicle back into the scrotum and told us the risks, etc.  Then he asked to see the area, so down went Aerick's pants and I took his diaper off.  Dr. Bui seemed glad that I knew what he was talking about and that I had done my research (*sigh*).  Anyhow, we're scheduled for Monday, March 29th at 8:30 a.m.  I could really use your prayers!  Our pre anesthesia appointment is Thursday, March 25th.

We grabbed KFC from Grants Pass on our way home and ate that for lunch.  Then we had Riley's friends over and we hung out all afternoon/evening.  They helped us to finish up our KFC (yes, we ate it for lunch AND dinner, LOL) and left about 9:15 p.m.  I was in bed by 10:15, sooooo not normal for this mama!

Today I had to get up early to do a telephone interview.  SCAM, did ya hear me?  S-C-A-M!  Oh well...  Lesson learned, kinda...  Then I got the kids ready to go and out the door we went to pick up Grandpa and take him to get some blood drawn for his doctor's appointment next week.  He's a frustrating old man and sadly, I'm getting tired of listening to him tell me that we bought a house that was too expensive.  Damnit, we could afford it when we bought it and now that there's no work we can't.  Give us a fucking break!  Then he gets irritated because I mentioned that I turned 26 three weeks ago and wants to know why I didn't tell him.  Really?!  REALLY?  I told you a few days ago because you were so insistent that you wanted to know.  It's a birthday NOT a wedding or birth.  It's no big deal.  He insists that I should have gotten a gift and not just a dinner out from my husband.  What WE decide to do for my birthday is up to us...  Just one of those days.

I have a menstrual migraine.  Maybe that's why he's irritating me so much today?  I hope so...  LOL  After we grabbed lunch, I sent Frank off with Ken and I wasted some time while waiting for Chris.  Chris and I met up and exchanged James about 2:30.  I'm so excited to have my little man home!!!

Next week is a busy week.  We have appointments three days next week!

The kids and I are watching tv right now, biding our time until 8 p.m.  2 more hours, 2 more hours, 2 more hours!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Haircut!

I went to the local beauty school, Phagan's, and let a good friend from at least Junior High cut my hair.  Come to find out I have a high cowlick, a low cowlick, a seriously thick patch of hair, very thin, baby fine hair, and just overall WEIRD hair!  LOL  It was well worth my $5 ($5 haircuts on Wednesdays!!!) and I'm so lucky I have a good friend like her.  She seemed so nervous, but I think she was just excited.  We had to trim about 2 inches off because of a previous haircut.  My previous stylist thought she was doing me a favor by razoring the ends of my hair to help with curling under.  However, all it did was make my hair look awful, not her fault, I knew it would and I should have told her no.  Anyways, my hair looks awesome now!


Today was just one of those "chill" days.  I sat around on the couch, the kids and I munched, Aerick took a nap while Siera piddled around.  She really should have napped but boy is it hit or miss here lately.  Ken got home around 2 so I hopped in the shower before I left to get my hair cut.

After my haircut I started to head home and then decided to grab some Taco Bell.  I got their $5 Volcano box.  Good stuff I tell ya!  I ate the tacos and the cinnamon twists but brought the burrito home for Ken.  He gobbled it down, good sign, right?  LOL

When I got home I had to wake Aerick, he'd been sleeping for 6 hours (give or take, it was a rough nap) by the time I got home.  They ate ice chips for awhile.  Suddenly, when I went to fill my drink, Siera decided she was hungry and she wanted fruit cocktail.  I opened the huge can of fruit cocktail.  Between her, Aerick and myself the HUGE can was gone.  I cannot believe how incredibly blessed I am with good eating children.  I mean, the boys are definitely pickier than Siera and the boys don't always want to eat, but at least Siera will be my constant!

Aerick might be getting sick.  I can't decide.  We haven't given him gatorade in a few days and he didn't have milk, so he shouldn't have diarrhea, but this evening he came to me with two dirty diapers.  The first was pretty solid (abnormal for him) and the second was straight liquid.  The poor punkin's bum was bright red in the 2 seconds between him telling me and me changing him.  I slathered him in Desitin Creamy and figured maybe he's a little sick.  I hope not, though he was a little warm at his nap.  He slept for an hour and suddenly was calling my name.  I refilled his cup and he drained it and hollered again.  He drank FOUR sippies in a 20 minute time period before I gave him some Tylenol Cold because he felt a little warm.  It could have been the fleece blanket he had on him, mixed with the warm heater temperature I had the house set to.  Who really knows?

Anyhow, I've laid Siera & Aerick down.  Turned Siera's timer on on her tv, filled sippies, tucked them in and am now going to go play with my new cut before I have to get up early to get everyone out the door tomorrow for Aerick's urologist appointment.  I'm pretty certain they're asleep and I'm pretty tired.  I suppose I should pick out outfits.  For whatever reason it helps my morning to run much smoother!

Monday, February 22, 2010

BUSY

Ahhhhh, it's been a crazy couple of days. Yesterday was so nice and sunny. We let the kids play outside for a bit and my father in law came over. So, we paid his bills! LOL

My father in law brought us a cake, he gets very angry with us because we limit the kids' sugar intake. As of today the kids have each had a few small bites of the cake, that's probably all they'll get! I do not feed my kids a bunch of crap! Though I'm not afraid to give them McDonald's either.

Then we took the kids to WalMart and got McD's while we were there, got what we needed and met Chris to drop James off. Then I ran into both of our Dollar Trees looking for Kung Fu Panda birthday stuff. Sadly, nothing :(

So, home we came and did bedtime. I couldn't fall asleep!!!! Hate that!

Today was fun... Ken let me sleep in a bit, then the whole family was in my bed, LOVE that. I got up and got ready to go, got Siera dressed, hair done, got Aerick dressed, shoes on, teeth brushed, and fed the kids some Top Ramen while Daddy got ready to go.

Off to Medford we went because Ken had to return some shingles to a company from a job he did on Friday. A whopping $200 job... That was our gas and the money we spent the last two days alone! *sigh* Oh well... ... ... We ran into Carl's Jr for a snack for myself and the kids and lunch for Daddy. I ate an entire Jalapeno burger, some of Aerick's chips & cheese, and my onion rings and I was still a little hungry! LOL

Our next stop was Target to see if they had any Kung Fu Panda birthday stuff. Of course they didn't! Sheesh, but we found these super cute popcorn holders for the kids in their Dollar Spot!!!  And they had to try them out regardless of whether James was home or not!  LOL 


So, at some point this weekend and I believe that it was on Saturday, James was teaching Siera how to ride his bike, awwwwwwwwwww.  He has training wheels and she can push the pedals, but boy oh boy, she was doing great.  I do believe we're going to be buying her a "big girl" bike this summer!



Have I introduced you to our dog, Riley?  He came to our home on November 15th, 2009.

He had a playdate on Friday evening with his original owners and their dog, Maxx.  How awesome huh!?  You can tell we care quite a bit about him allowing playdates with his original owners, LOL.

We love him so much and the kids romp on him and love on him.  He is always within a few feet of me and follows me to the bathroom, to the kitchen, where ever I may go.  When Ken gets up in the morning, Riley will get up from his perch next to my side of the bed (on the floor), follow Ken to the kitchen, wait while his coffee is made, then out to the garage and outside to go potty.  Once he's made sure Ken is okay out in the garage he comes back in and climbs into Ken's spot on the bed, pillow and all!  LOL - I love waking up to Riley curled up against me and that's saying alot because I hate being touched in my sleep!

This is what happens in my house during the afternoon.  One kid wants to watch this on tv, the other kid wants to watch this, so I separate them!  Oddly, Aerick likes to hang out in Siera's bed... ...  LOL  Although, look how cute he is!  I don't mind :)



Lately, it's been nice to be me.  Tonight was a bit rough as Aerick went to bed at 7 p.m. and Siera didn't fall asleep until just a few minutes ago at 9:20 p.m.  *sigh*  Life as a mommy, it's rough!

AUTHOR'S NOTE:  I'm still learning all this, so please forgive me if my posts look super weird!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Tireddddddddd

I am so very tired. Yesterday we ended up not finishing Siera's room like I thought we would, but I did catch up on some more laundry and dishes.

Today, however... Le sigh! I was supposed to get James about 11 a.m. so I got up at 8 when Ken left for work to be with the other kids and got them bathed. Then I get a phone call from Ken at 9:30 asking me to bring him something for the job he's doing. Really? REALLY!? *sigh* Alright, good thing I showered last night. So, I did my hair, my makeup and got dressed and out the door we went. Took my husband what he needed, met the ex husband to pick up James and then I was supposed to take the children to waste time. However, James wanted to go home and then Siera wanted to go home. Instead I ran through Taco Bell and got Siera & Aerick each a small lunch and got James a drink too. After we got home I laid Aerick down for a nap and tried to lay Siera down. She wasn't having it. Her big brother was home and that was that. I convinced her to at least lay in her bed and watch tv for quiet time while James played in the living room.

Ken came home an hour or so later and totally screwed that plan up, LOL. He brought me Subway though so I can't complain too much. I finally woke Aerick at 4 and let Siera & James play outside for a bit.

Also, today, I got an email from a woman looking for our dog. I was hesitant to email back because I thought for sure she wanted her dog back. Come to find out she really just wanted to be able to visit the dog. Even more interesting than that is that I rode the bus with her when I was in high school and she was in junior high!!!!!!!!!!

She brought her shitzu dog and her husband and came out to visit this evening. Riley remembered them and was SO happy to see them. It was a wonderful visit and I'm excited to do that playdate again :)

Siera put herself to bed at 7:30 and Aerick climbed into the crib and put HIMself to bed at 8 all while they were still here! LOL Now James is eating some popcorn and watching Word World before he heads to bed.

Then I need to eat dinner and get myself to bed. I'm exhausted tonight :)

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Housework, housework, and more housework

Today was the day to get Siera's room steam cleaned. For whatever reason her room always has a weird smell to it. So, I chose to push her bed completely to one side, vacuum and steam clean that half of the room and then tomorrow we'll do the other half.

I also managed to get another few loads of laundry washed, dried and folded. Still need to put away. I also did a load of dishes and of course, fed the family :)

It was a simple, not quite done day. LOL

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

New Friends and Adventures

Today Aerick had his first ever dental appointment. He did sooooo well!!! He was a little freaked out when they laid him down and he cried, of course, but otherwise he was a trooper.

Siera even did really well. She just stood next to me like a big girl and tried to help comfort her baby brother. Too sweet!

Next, we went to the mall play place and met a friend that so far I'd only spoken to online. She's very sweet and her little one was soooo happy!!! We let my kids play for awhile (hers napped, LOL) and then up to the food court we went. Orange Julius hot dog kids meals for my kids and Taco Time for us Mommies.

After a few hours I had to call it quits and start the 45 minute ride home. My kids both fell asleep on the ride home and that was nice.

When I got home I put Aerick in James' bed as it was easier, then I went to get Siera out of the car. Of course the little booger woke up and wouldn't go back to sleep, so I got to watch her play outside for a bit. She's so funny to watch when she's by herself. She plays with the dog, plays on the swingset, even tries to "see saw" by herself.

I had to put a call in to our pediatrician. I haven't heard from them about the referral for Aerick. He has an undescended testicle and I really need to get it taken care of.

We had leftover lasagna for dinner and then called it a night. The children went to bed and my husband went to bed and I'm sitting here watching old episodes of the Nanny. Yayyyyyy, LOL.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Stress and Finances

Ken has hardly worked in a year. Now he's finally looking for work, but he can't find anything. We have his bond & insurance due, car insurance is due, etc, etc. It's the beginning of the year, this is when we owe thousands of dollars to places, why he didn't think ahead, I'm not sure... Trying to be patient and work through it with him. It's difficult.

Tonight was a good night. I got a lot cleaned up today. I made spaghetti sauce and made a really awesome lasagna for dinner, with garlic bread. Then we got the kids bathed and into bed.

So, I'm just chilling, the kids are sleeping and the husband is sleeping. James is back at his dads preparing for school tomorrow :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

*sigh*

Well, dinner turned out great, but my two youngsters are still sleeping. What's up with that? They're obviously not feeling well and oddly enough, I'm not feeling so hot either. I'm hanging out in bed with James right now. He's watching tv, I'm listening to music from pandora.com and surfing the 'net.

Happy Valentine's Day

So, today is Valentine's Day. I was up until 1 a.m. making Valentine cards for my kids and husband. I also prepared a plate for each child with an organic fruit strip (like fruit roll up, but healthy), a snack size baggie of Cookie Crisp cereal and a generic bluberry fruit & grain bar. My husband got a homemade valentine card and a Reese's heart (huge!).





While I was doing all of that I had a cake baking on a cookie sheet so that I could use the heart shaped cookie cutter for dessert for tonight.

This morning we decided to get the children ready and make our way to JJ North's for brunch. During our meal Ken and I noticed that Siera had raised reddish areas on her face. It was around all of her mouth, a few spots on her nose and cheeks. Quite scary and I'm assuming an allergic reaction. To what? We have NO idea. She's eaten everything their before minus the italian dressing. I asked the manager if I could please find out what was in the dressing and he brought me out the whole container. There's nothing in it that I could tell that Siera hasn't had before. I have no idea what is up, but we rushed to WalMart and picked up some dissolvable Benadryl tablets. I will keep those in my purse from now on.



At WalMart Ken pissed me off thoroughly. He gets soooo close to other cars that I seriously think he's going to hit them. The only reason I care (as much as I do) is because, in the event that he DOES hit someone, I'll be the one that has to listen to him bitch and moan that our insurance rates went up, etc, etc. Not willing to deal with it.

I got the kids into WalMart and grabbed diapers, soda, Benadryl and ice cream. Now, normally I would never allow my kids to have ice cream at home. However, with Siera's allergic reaction to who knows what she wasn't able to finish her ice cream because I wanted to get her out of the restaurant. I told her I'd pick up ice cream at the store, so I did. What a fun mom I am :) LOL

Once home Siera & Aerick laid down for naps, James made me a picture, Ken watched a show and I decorated "cakes" for the kids for dessert tonight. I'm also defrosting chicken so I can get dinner started in a couple of hours.



And now Siera is watching tv in her room, James & Ken are watching Underdog and here I sit, typing. LOL

Saturday, February 13, 2010

A Fun Day

Today was a fun day. My kids who went to bed SO early last night slept until 5:30 a.m. That's 14 hours of sleep for my children. WOOT!!!

My husband was already up so he let me sleep in until 9ish when I heard the phone ring and realized it was my ex husband. He was calling to see about when I would be ready to pick up James for my weekend with him.

I picked James up about noon and we headed to town. Thankfully we met at a grocery store so while I waited with Siera we went in and got Lunchables for the children to have for lunch. Then I realized that I really should grab something for myself to eat before the birthday party that we were headed to. So I ran through Burger King and grabbed a Whopper Jr and a small onion ring, then I headed down the street to the market to get a soda. Then we went to the park and had a great time. I never did eat the Whopper Jr... AND there was pizza there *sigh* Oh well.

James and Siera had an awesome time. The cake tasted like a ding dong without the hard outer chocolate crust and we were there for 2 hours! I was freezing by the time I left!

Then we headed down the street a couple more miles to a friends house for a "photo shoot" of Siera & myself. James played with her boys and after a few minutes of pictures we took Siera to play with the boys. SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO cute they are! LOL

My friend takes awesome pictures and if you're in the Southern Oregon area and need a good photographer just let me know :)

We spent a couple of hours at said friends and then came home to make dinner. Breaded/fried pork loin pork chops, a box of pasta roni and a can of corn, YUM. We all ate pretty well, then I put Siera into a baking soda tub. After about 20 minutes of soaking I let the brothers in. Once the children were let out we dressed them in their jammies and put Aerick to bed. He was very tired and in a few minutes the older 2 children will head to bed.

Theeeeeeeeeen, it's Mommy & Daddy time. I'm thinking this Mommy needs to eat again, she's feeling rather hungry!

Friday, February 12, 2010

Interesting Night

So, my daughter decided not to nap today and the younger son and she were up so early that my son took a very early nap. Therefore I laid them down for "naps" at 3:30. It's now 8 p.m. and they're still sleeping which means tomorrow is going to be a really early morning for us and that's fine. Granted I really hope my husband is home because I need to pick up the older son from his Father's and take him to a bday party and the younger two children are going to need a nap desperately around that time...

I suppose we'll see :)

For now, I'm catching up on my shows and all I have after Private Practice is two SuperNanny's. I guess I'll have to go to bed shortly after that, LOL.

So, this is my life.

I stay home with the kids and I don't feel fulfilled. I love my children and I am so thankful I'm able to be home with them, but I'm not getting anything from it.

My husband is self employed and for the last year has been mostly home. That screws up my days like you wouldn't believe. Yet, on the same hand, I love having him home. Maybe because I feel like I shouldn't have to deal with the children as often? I have no idea. You'd think that with him being home more often that I'd get a chance to go do stuff on my own? Oh no, that's not how it works in this house.

I have an almost 6 year old son who I recently allowed to go live with his father. He was having a couple of aggravation issues in his Kindergarten class since Christmas break. We decided that my home is a volatile environment and that living with his Dad would be best for him. Hardest.decision.of.my.life! Harder than deciding to walk away from my then husband. I didn't even have to decide whether to keep my child when I found out at 19 that I was pregnant with him. This was by far the hardest decision I have ever made in my life and I just turned 26! He'll be going to the same school his father and I went to and will continue to go to the schools we went to. It's a good thing for all of us.

I have a 3 year old tomboy daughter. She's wonderful and exciting. She really keeps me on my toes, but at the same time she frustrates me to no end. I love her dearly, she's my only daughter, but... Somedays I want to just run away and she's usually the reason. She doesn't listen, she manipulates, she lies, she's awful, but I love her.

I have a just turned 2 year old boy. He's the light of my life. Is it because he's the youngest and my last? Is it just because of his personality? I have no idea, but I treasure the bond we have. He is my most laid back child. You wanna go shopping all day, Mom? That's okay, feed me and entertain me to some extent and I'll be your best buddy all day long. *sigh* I love this kid. LOL

I have a husband. A husband who is nearly 20 years older than me and tells me he loves me, but doesn't show it much. I'm working on that aspect.

I think I like blogging. Maybe THAT is what will fulfill me? Maybe this is what will keep my brain "fresh?" I love to learn and everything I've learned in the last 3 1/2 years has been child related. I want to learn to love life again...